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Generosity

Delia's Tips

A little Laugh

Stroke Victims

One of those days

FW: * NEW WORDS FOR 2007

New technology from Apple

Senior Centre

a short riddle

Blondes

Handy flight companion

Tuesday's FUNNY...........

Leave us blondes alone

to all my online friends

Chopper at his best: "Harden The F*@# Up!"  NSFW

Yanks & Guns

Emoticons

[No Subject]

Amazing

If

Children are wonderful

I am only the delivery boy.

Apologies to the Italians......

My dog Skippy

senior citizen

CHOCOLATE HAVE PLENTY OF IT FOR NEW YEAR

Cowboy boots

Top 10 Christmas Carols For The Disturbed

Have you seen the world's shortest books?

great XMAS gift

great XMAS gift

SPECIAL GIFTS

Xmas Joke

The Cold

How true!!

FW: Port Adelaide Maths Exam

onions & christmas tree's

Japanese Illusionist

Many fathers

True friends don't let u drink n drive

MERRY CHRISTMAS from SANTA.....not!

Man of the house!

Lateral Thinking

Collingwood girls - gotta love them!

THE PUMPKIN

Fishing

Migrants Excuse

The medicine man

Office Skirmish...

Senior Thinking--a smile for your day...

FlightSim X Game

Serious Sergeant Major

Speedbandits  NSFW

Tall stories

More Blonde Jokes

Question

What all blokes have been looking to find out...how to keep a woman happy

Monday Afternoon Smiles

The Yuppie...

Warning....beware of little fingers.....

Beer Entrapment - timely, being that it's Friday

Vet Fees

Man accused of having relations with dog

Real #911 Calls

Can you figure it?

God is good

Gender test

Blonde Joke for the day

Shopping for a blow up doll

HOW TO POO AT WORK

Fwd: FW: Fwd: Who says men don't remember anniversaries?

Fairy Story

First Kiss....

Simple question, simple answer

FW: Plane Stuff

sexist jokes, though entertaining :)

blondes

Last Child Support Payment

The Truth behind Women's Restrooms

blondes?

SYLVESTER AND TWEETY

10 Worst Company web Domains

FW: check this out!!

Futuristic Motel

snow

FW: Men are happier people!

WORLD WAR III IS COMING!

History Test

Drinking Quotes

mwa huh huh

approaches

Scientific study

acronyms

hooker joke

Time for a Quickie

Irish Coffee

nurses

so......... Who's Proof Reading?

Brave Men

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN

GOOD - BETTER - BEST

2 jokes

Pensions

Men Strike Back!?

Clever Aussie

FUNNY-- Cat lover or not

FW: Test for Dementia

A few things you have probably never thought about!

Joke of the Year

BEWARE OF SCAM...

Another Blond Joke

The extroidinary life of older people in the suburbs

They Walk Among Us

Little Johnny...............(again)

Mid Life Crisis...

Fairy tale

BLUFFING

dishes

THE JOKE THAT JUST HAD TO HAPPEN

Elmo joke

Charles and Camilla

LITTLE JOHNNY RETURNS

the audit............

FW: Help Desk Jokes - this is funny!

Women

Two women

the genie

AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT

Good joke!!!

Faulty Driver, Faulty Policeman

Joke of the week!

noah's ark

7 KINDS OF SEX

FW: More Sesame Street goodness

If football teams were women

FW: Your Brazilian shirt name

This is cool

Payrise

FW: Test for Cataracts........  NSFW

FW: Do you have 710?

Dear Dad letter....- brilliant!

FW: What a Great Idea! :-)

FW: ooohh im excited

FW: Full Nike Football ads - BRILLIANT!

quote from Robot Chicken

FW: Possible Recruit

FW: World Cup

FW: try to park the car - very addictive

FW: Four Friends

FW: Drivers Licence

FW: The story of Sheep

FW: Advice for a friday...

FW: pirate talk translator

WORTH REPEATING

Subject:  WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND, IN THE PROCESS, GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve.. We have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so! " God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh", Adam replied.

"Then why did you? " said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it! " Adam said.

"Did not! "

"Did too! "

"DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
for one day they will choose your nursing home.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

From: Oto on 17 Aug 2006

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