Subject: great XMAS gift
Double Bay Barbie: This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a master's degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mum with Ken's generous salary. Comes with a Prozac Prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working late." Available at all eastern suburbs Starbucks retailers.
Northshore Barbie: This Barbie is only sold at David Jones. She comes with an assortment of Gucci handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Range Rover and a long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey." Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
Bankstown Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 Holden Ute with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit.This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash- preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at participating pawn shops.
Blacktown Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Bankstown Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes slow-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Holden Ute Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any Big W Store.
Cronulla Barbie: This tan model comes dressed in her own Levi jeans x2 Sizes too small, a "100% Aussie" T- shirt and the southern cross tattooed on her shoulder. She has a six pack of VB and comes with Jimmy Barnes CD's. She can spit over a distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight. Comes with Barbie's Dream fibro house. Available at K-Mart.
Central Coast Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi and a Centrelink cheque. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford pickup are optional. Available at Target
Yamba Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up,and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional kombi van, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available
all over Byron Bay and Nimbin
Surry Hills Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs out at The Columbian on Oxford st. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit. This model is being phased out.
From: Oto on 24 Dec 2006
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